Jobs

I've been becoming increasingly depressed lately, almost bordering on insanity I think. I'm so sick of jobs, of employment, the looking, the lies, the disappointment. I can't help but feel betrayed by humanity time and time again. Everything here is about money, money money. None of it is about the person. If it's got nothing to do with the person, why am I forced to endure 100s of excrutiating and humiliating and degrading interviews. I'm sick of hearing all the lies about the company and about the job your hiring for. I can't stand the fake niceness, and being asked personal questions only to be chewed up and spit out. I've had eight places of employment in Buffalo in the 3 years I've been here, that I can think of. And all of them have been rude and impersonal and money grubbing, and discourteous, and deceitful (often asking me to do deceitful things as well), and often just plain unprofessional. why are there no ethics in Buffalo. Why is there so much god damn racism and implied segregation. I'm bordering on the edge. I want to go somewhere where people are human. I'm not interested in the superficial, the short time gains, the rampant gambling. I can't even face the world anymore. I just want to stay inside in my own little box for the rest of my life.

Musical

The other day on the local classical music station WNED, I heard the most brilliant performance of Chopin's "Heroic" Polonaise in A flat major. It was so perfect... I had never heard this piece properly played all the way through before. I don't know if it is Polish pride in me, or just a deeper human understanding, but this music brought me to tears and gave me a wonderful smile. I just can't further describe the feelings it gave me. I've always loved many of Chopin's works, but this piece... I think if I had an anthem, I would want it to be this piece. It just gives me those proud to be alive feelings.

Also, I am currently house sitting and was very bored today. I recorded some piano music after searching long and hard to find the proper microphone equipment in alex's mess of a work room. I also managed to figure out how to work his amp, and while I've had my guitar since April, I still have not yet played it with an amp let alone effects. It's a classical style accoustic electric. Well I figured it out and had my first experience playing electric guitar with effects and whatnot. 'Twas fun to say the least. A minor diversion from regular practice, which I think is quite healthy to indulge in every now and again.